Remember
by RandILLBFF
Summary: Maura Isles is hiding something, and her wife knows it. How does get that information? What does she do with the information she finds? Does their love really exist? There will be Rizzles. Please Review/Comment/Criticize
1. Till death do us part

**1. This story has been in my head for a while, and it is far from done, but please review, and then I might complete this**

**2. The characters are belonging to Tess, Janet, and TNT **

**3. I don't proofread, sorry. **

**4. Thanks for clicking on this one**

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The ME and her wife were finally at home, laying on the couch together. Looking into each-others eyes they spoke about their day, life, and love. "Maura Isles, I know you are hiding something. Please, tell me. I am here baby" the ME's wife said to her with full concern. The ME thought long, and hard for a response without lying, "I know that you care for me, and I care for you, but some things just go unspoken of, and it is one of those things." her wife thought as well, getting insecure, "If you were cheating on me, you would tell me, right?" The ME had an answer this time, "I would... wait until the right time to." At this point, her wife got nervous, and angry, "You are cheating on me. I knew it!" In quick defense, the Me stated, "I am not-" as she did so she stood up quickly while using her hands for gesturing she managed to accidentally pull her necklace off, making it fall to the floor. "NO!" she stopped mid-sentence to retrieve it, but before she reached it, her wife had already picked up up for her. _And there it is, just one more reason I married this woman _She was thinking as she reached for her necklace, defensively putting it back on quickly before finishing her sentence. ",cheating on you."

Her wife saw that the ME became somber, and that she was sincere, but she didn't get her question answered, and she kept asking, "Okay, Maura, I believe you honey, but something is bugging you, I can tell. What is it? Was it Chief Cavanaugh asking you if you wanted the day off before you even said anything? Come on babe, I will always love you." The ME began to cry, as she nuzzled her neck into her wife's. This made her sadder, and she then stormed out in tears. Her wife was left there, pondering. She never knew why the ME became so upset sometimes, and she guessed she never would, but she would try. It was the least she could do if her wife wouldn't tell her herself.

She first went to the guestroom closet and looked. She found old magazine articles, and some old handwritten books. The books were medical records, that she couldn't understand, so she kept going, she found fashion magazines, which she skipped over. Nothing. Well, nothing helpful for finding what made her wife so upset sometimes. Especially that date, the 27 of September was always a strange day for the ME. Her wife finished the closet with no luck, so she kept going, and she went into the utility closet inside of their house. Nothing. All doctor stuff, more doctor stuff, and shoes. _God Damn, Maura, what is it with you baby. _Her wife felt helpless, and she went into their room, and saw that the ME was in the bath.

Taking advantage of the moment, the wife went into the big closet, and searched for a book, an article, anything. She found shoe boxes, clothes, and more shoes. Nothing. She was about to leave, when she saw a book, handwritten. Curious, she picked it up and looked inside. It was a diary and it was not about medical things. She flipped through until she saw a folded up piece of paper fall out. She bend down, and began to read it:

My Dear Maura,

I love you. Don't you ever forget that. I have to go now, and I might not ever see you again. Maybe it was meant to be, maybe not. Whatever the situation, Maur, I love you forever. I have to say goodbye, I just can't stay here. So go, live life. I will always be waiting for you wherever I go. I promise.

-Detective

Her wife began to cry, at what she read. "Baby, I f you have to know..."

She jumped when she heard the ME behind her, sounding as if nothing happened. "Maura, baby, I am here for you. Always. You can tell me anything. Even if you are cheating, I will stay with you. I just want to know." The ME was at her last straw. "You know, you really are very pushy and impatient some times." She said to her wife, "You want to know so badly. I'll show you." The couple both got into their car, and drove, just a short distance. They were at an apartment building, and possibilities were flowing through her wife's head. _Is... this an apartment building...? Are we going to meet with the woman she is cheating with? Dammit Maura! _

She noticed the ME on the verge of tears, and getting lost in sight, but she kept going. They walked side by side until they reached a door where the ME stopped. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key, slowly unlocking and opening the door. AS if a moment of truth, they both walked in together. Expecting a big confession, she heard the ME, "Here. This is it." There was a pause of confusion."What? Is this her apartment. Am I going to meet your secret girlfriend?" This seemed to upset the ME, so she shifted when the ME began to cry, "No, Maura, I am sorry, I get it, I really do, she tried to get the ME into a hug, which got rejected. "No! YOU DON'T! " She raised her voice, grabbing her wife's arm, pulling her into the bedroom.

Not knowing what to expect, the first thing she saw, she took less than a second to look at was a BPD Uniform layed out perfectly on the bed. She looked to her wife, confused, "Baby.. It's just a uniform." She was the ME just staring, and she looked back at it ans saw that this uniform was was ripped, burned, and had blood marks all over it. She then noticed bullet holes. She became worried she saw blood, and looked to the ME, "He meant a lot to you? Didn't he?" The ME looked at her, and said, "the name..."

Her wife looked down at the name on the badge, _Detective Jane R. Isles. _

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**Thank you for reading, I appreciate it a bunch. Review, please?**


	2. Remember Me?

**1. Everyone, sorry to be confusing, I tried here to clear it up, for those who were mad, JANE IS ALIVE so chill out. She just comes towards the end of this chapter **

**2. If the last comment makes you upset, then I apologize, I am not changing that fact **

**3. I do not own Rizzoli and Isles **

**4. Thank you somuch for all the reviews. They all mean a lot, please keep it up. **

**5. Read?**

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The ME looked at her wife, and said, "Yes, Jane Rizzoli Isles. She was my everything. You, Sierra, are my second wife. I know I should have told you, but I have never spoken to anyone about Jane since... since.."

The ME couldn't contain her emotions and Sierra just held her, and said,

"Maura, I am here for you. You can tell me whatever you want, or as little as you want. I will be listening." The ME pulled herself together and she thought about what she should felt that she should tell her wife, because she deserves to know, but she thought that if was not a good idea. She would be breaking her promise to herself, to never speak of the Detective again. She looked at Sierra's eyes and saw the love, and the full attention on her. It was a look that years before, her wife would give her, with her big brown eyes. She finally spoke:

"Jane Rizzoli Isles was one of Boston's finest Detectives. We were friends for years, until we started dating, and eventually got married. That woman saved my life, many times. She would have given her life for me without thinking. She was the perfect 'gentleman'. She was the only person I could really play chess with. She put up with all of my condolences, and I put up with hers. There is no way to describe the hero of the woman that she was. We are what she called 'life long best friends forever' We worked together as if we were made to be a team, and she really made me who I am today... Well, in a figurative way at least. Either way, together we were the power couple. The chief Medical Examiner and the Detective."

Sierra shifted her eyes down, as the ME got up, bringing her a picture. She saw a tall woman, with long, dark curly hair. She looked as the ME described her, only she was more gorgeous. Sierra was curious, but still cautious. She said to the ME, "What happened? She is seems perfect. Tough." The ME pulled her mind from the heart-wrenching past in order so keep going.

"You know Charles Hoyt? He was a serial killer that Jane was having issues with. She ended up with her hands each scalpel-ed to a mattress. Vince Korsak saver her life that day. IT is what cops do, yes, but that scarred her, both in a figurative way and literally. She was scared. I was the one who saw it, because I was the only one she would allow to see it. You see, the thing about Jane was, she was a tough cop, but she was the most loving person I knew."

The ME stopped, and Sierra asked, "but, what happened? I don;t mean to rush, baby. Keep going."

"Okay, sorry- I will stop tying to summarize Jane, in one conversation. Too hard.

It was one day where there was a rogue cop, and she shot through herself to save lives. That she did. I watched her fall to the ground in pain. It was enough pain that she passed out, and we were in the hospital. She had surgery, and was asleep. I slept by her bedside, for the next week. It was finally the release day, and I was comfortable sleeping at home while she was at the hospital."

Sierra saw the sorrow in the ME's eyes, and pulled her in for a hug. They stayed in the embrace for a few seconds, until the ME wiped her tears and finished,

"I got to the hospital that day and she was gone. The only thing left was the necklace she wore. It is our wedding ring.. but a necklace. It was on the chair by her bed. I believed that she left by herself, but the necklace kept throwing me off. We had the whole BPD looking for her for months. When they stopped looking, I finally let go of seeing her again. I still to this day don't know what happened. I have everything of hers, just not what she was wearing in the hospital... and her."

The ME has finally told someone. Sierra stood there, bewildered,. Never. Would she have ever thought of that. She had a right to be mad, but she just couldn't. She was upset, but so many questions were answered. Sierra was sad, about it all, but she just knew. She sensed that the ME would want time there alone, and she would give it to her. She said, "Maura, I know you want some alone time here, I will go home. I understand. Love you" Without room for hesitation, the ME was alone in the Detective's old apartment.

_I told someone. I told Sierra. She deserves it, she really does. I just can't let go. But I did. _The ME thought to herself as she left the room and went to the couch. Looking at a picture of the two she began to cry . _Dear Janie, I miss you. I feel lonely here even when I am in the company of others. Janie, I know you__ are out there. I know it. I miss your touch. The feel of your fingers in my hair. I miss your voice, putting me to sleep at night. I miss my reason for living my life everyday. I memorized your letter, "__I love you. Don't you ever forget that. I have to go now, and I might not ever see you again. Maybe it was meant to be, maybe not. Whatever the situation, Maur, I love you forever. I have to say goodbye, I just can't stay here. So go, live life. I will always be waiting for you wherever I go. I promise." I miss everything about us, Janie, I miss you. _

The ME finished her mental letter, and sat there quietly, just savoring every last second she spent with the Detective. She was not over it, no matter how much she told herself she was. Everything was different, and she was never used to it. She was remarried, but she felt bad, and couldn't ever fully love Sierra, but she did as much as she could. There was times she would give it all up for Sierra, and times like these where she missed the Detective with everything she has. She was there for hours, and she was about to leave, when she decided to go into the kitchen and think some more, remember all of the moments that occurred there. She wanted to remember more.

In the kitchen, the ME recalled the day the Detective proposed, which saddened her more, so she thought of the time they fought over Bass. The argument was over a silly thing, and she laughed. It was the first time laughing in that apartment since she lost the Detective.

She was done, and was walking home. Abruptly, a strong force grabbed her and shoved her into a car. She looked around, and there was a man dressed in all black, with no skin showing. She couldn't control it, and she whimpered, just to be slapped in the face, and have her arms bound in front of her. She knew what was going on, and couldn't admit it. She did not know why, but she was being kidnapped, and she knew what would come next. The car was black tinted windows, the ME noted. And then felt a pain in her arm and things went black.

She woke up strapped to a chair,confused. The ME then saw two men standing over her, with monstrous smirks on their faces. One of them continued, "Up so soon? What shall we call you? How about Linda. Well, you are in luck, because we have time to show you around. If you are good, there might be a surprise for you later. Got it?" The ME knew not to argue, so she put on her scared tone and said,

"Y-y-y yes sir. I got it." The ME tried her best, then looking around, only seeing a dark room, and a door. The men laughed, and said, "Yeah, that is what they all say. Come here!"

One of them violently threw a punch at her eye, and handcuffed her previously bound hands behind her back. The other man grabbed her by her arms and dragged her out of the room. _No... No... No.. no no no no ouch. Why don't I have Jane anymore! That hurts. Ah. No. _She thought as the man laughed, then proceeded to bag her head, pick her up and throw her into another room. The ME's body landed with a loud noise, as she winced in pain. She didn't get up, she just layed there, eventually falling asleep, ignoring the figure laying against the opposite wall.

The ME was awoken by water being poured on her. It was a different man this time. The ME was once again having her head bagged, and thrown into another room. Once the beg was torn off, she saw that she was sitting in front of about 20 other men and women, all in what appeared to be military uniforms. A male voice coming from somewhere said, "Meet the newest member, Linda you guys have her."

All of the men began to approach her, undressing her with their eyes, yes, it was quick, but the ME saw a woman in the corner of the room, not paying attention. She looked at that woman for help, yelling, "Help, please!" and the ME closed her eyes, feeling grips and hand all over her.

"EVERYONE STOP NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW." The deep voice of the woman came booming loudly, and everyone stopped. The ME knew the voice, but didn't believe it. She kept her eyes closed, but felt the bodies slowly snake away from her. She then felt a pair of strong arms around her. Freaked out, she jumped, opening her eyes and pushing away, saying, "You heard her! Ge-" She paused, while opening her eyes. She saw big brown eyes, that she never forgot.

"Jane." The ME said, with passion, hate, confusion, love and relief. The two pulled into a hug, that seemed to last forever. A hug that made life worth living again. It then went black, and screams ensued.

The ME found herself where she began, in a chair. This time it was pitch black. She heard shuffling, and then lights went on. The two first men were standing in front of her again, but this time, Jane was sitting next to her, not bound to the chair. One of the men said to Jane, in a testing type voice, "Scarlett, or should I say _Jane? _You know our newest member?"

The ME looked at her long lost (ex)wife, for anything such as a smile, or even a look, but got nothing. Finally, she spoke,

"No Sir"

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**So, do you like it? hate it? still confused? P****lease keep reviewing! I am trying to make it better, and I need constructive criticism for that. **

**Either way, Thank You for reading it!**


	3. Forgetting, Love, and Compassion

**Hello Readers, **

** you so much for the views/reviews, they are much appreciated. **

**2. Please tell me if this needs clarifying. **

**3. The break in the middle is a time skip of about one hour. **

**4. It is made up later in the chapter. **

**5. Rizzoli and Isles belongs to Janet Tamaro, Tess Gerritsen and TNT **

**6. Read on...**

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"No Sir." The words echoed in the ME's ears. She felt as if she might has well been killed then and there. _No way. There is no way she doesn't remember me. It can't be. She must be lying. Please, Jane, you remember me. _The man looked directly into The detective's eyes, and said, "Very well then, Scarlett, take her and show her off... I mean around. She is yours, you don't have to worry about being gentle. She is almost tougher than you, except she cooperates. Dismissed."

The ME was watching Jane, and thinking, _They call me Linda, and her Scarlett, I suppose that means that they don't know our real names. I see that Jane put her hands in her pockets, and looked away from the person speaking to her, she IS lying. She remembers me. How come she didn't get out? Is it that hard? _As the ME was about to get up, she felt the firm grip of the Detective on her wrist, and she forgot all about Sierra, and getting out.

She was blindly pulled around, and finally able to see again. Before she could speak the Detective threw herself at the ME saying in her quiet scream voice, "Maur!" It was filled with relief, love, hurt, embarrassment, and _. The hug was all the women needed for the moment. It was as close to perfection as anything could get. After the embrace, the Detective pulled away. With too much to say, and too little time, she crammed it all in really fast, knowing that the ME could follow along.

"Maur, I don't have much time to talk right now, but I want to tell you that I've changed, and I see that you have too. Here, we can't get out. I tried everything the first year. Nothing. I almost died trying. The only thing that kept me from killing myself was you. I missed you, Maur. I miss saying your name,. I miss waking up to you in the morning. I miss you. I miss my wife-" The Detective saw the ring. Her face fell, and she looked at the ME differently.

"Jane, I have so much to tell you. So much to show you, and so little time. There is too much to talk about. I wish I could explain to you, but I can't summarize the years that passed. Jane, I am scared. I want out. I know that if there is a way you would have found it. And you know what, I think that here with you is okay." The ME couldn't wrap her head around it, and she wished she could. She loves Jane, and Jane loves her, but she remarried and her and Jane are stuck in a mysterious place with no way out.

"Maur, I have to to now. I have a high rank here, so I know that the 'tour' we were supposed to be taking is over. Listen, I get that there is another person now, I do. But I did marry you, and I promised to always keep you safe, and protect you. I will get us out. I will find a way. Remember, Maur to stay where you are put, unless someone moves you. It will one of the two men, or me. I have some say here and I will do everything I can so that no one can get to you before we leave. I need to get out, and I think that by you being here, has made it a whole lot easier. Remember to wait for me, Maur." The Detective was off, but not before adding, "I love you."

The ME had not heard the words come from that person in almost 5 years, and it made her want to cry. _ I love that woman. I really do, but what about Sierra? She is great, perfect almost, but she is not Jane. Jane can get us out. I know she can... _The ME got lost in thought as she fell asleep sitting against the wall.

She was awake for about five minutes before the Detective woke her up. The Detective looked exactly as she did years before, and it comforted the ME. The Detective's eyes we on the Me as she spoke, "Maur, I know how to do it. I got a plan. I just need that big brain of yours."

The ME listened to the plan, and contributed her knowledge until a plan was deduced. It was very risky, and had a big bad potential, but the women were going to to for it. As a conclusion, the Detective came right out and told the truth, saying, "Maur, I am always honest with you. And right now, I don't know what to do. I want to kiss you so bad, but I don't know if you would be comfortable letting me.." The Detective admitted while trying her best to read the body language of the ME. Her skills were still sharp as they were, and she saw the twinkle in the ME's eyes that meant _I am yours_.

The ME looked into the Detectives longing eyes, and suddenly, she forgot about Sierra, and all of the things that went on the past 5 years. It was as if she had just brought the Detective back from the hospital. Everything. Every memory, and every word was gone. Except for the Detective. The only memories that existed to her were of the two. The ME closed her eyes, and placed her arms around the Detectives neck. Slowly and slowly, the two moved closer and closer until their lips touched.

It was just like five years ago, how both of them remembered it exactly. The ME was married, but she had to admit, nothing was ever like how it was wist the Detective. The Detective kept thinking _This plan better work. I better pull this off. I need to. For her. I don't know if I have her forever anymore. All I know is that I need to give her forever. If it takes my life, so be it. Come on Rizzoli, you can do this. _Meanwhile, the ME couldn't think, she didn't know what to do, and she knew that she would likely have to face everything she feared most.

The rest of the day passed, which consisted of the two mentally planning, while just passing time. Although there was little time for catching up. Everything was planned out for the two, and it was go time.

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The Detective was driving as fast as she could towards the BPD, with the semi-un-conscious body of the ME in the car next to her. There would probably be a consequence later but she didn't care. The only thing on her mind was "get her safe." The ME was in the Detective's lap, with her arms around her neck already so when the Detective parked, she could move quickly. She rushed in holding the ME tightly to her body.

"Someone, HELP." The Detective yelled, running into the BPD. Everyone in the room looked at her, as if they were seeing a ghost. Nobody moved, in shock that Det. Jane Rizzoli was there, with the Chief Medical Examiner, and in need of help. The man was already in the building, and no one was successful in containing him, and the Me wouldn't let go of her neck. In panic, the Detective turned, and took the gun from the closest uniform, standing motionless. With no hesitation, she shot the man who was in charge of the whole thing. The kidnapping, sexual assault, and violence. He fell to the ground and she let out a breath, finally getting a chance to feel the sharp pain in her right shoulder. The ME still had her arms locked around the detectives neck, so the Detective lifted her back up, wincing, as the elevator rang, and out stepped Vince Korsak and Barry Frost.

"JANE" The two other Detectives said in unison as they walked up to her. It had been a while since she saw her old partners, and they were all glad to see each other. They case was being settled, while the Detective and ME went to the hospital. The ME was conscious, but a little out of it, and the Detective couldn't move her right arm at all.

They got to the hospital and the Detective kept refusing to be checked, despite the fact that the bone in her right shoulder was about to split through her skin. Not to mention more tears and a cut where a bullet almost go her.

"She has a head injury. She needs to be checked NOW, I'm fine if I wait. For now. Just make sure she is okay." The Detective finally agreed to let the ME out of her sight. They took the Detective in for x-rays, which concluded that her collar bone was badly broken, and they did surgery. The ME had a grade 3 concussion, and was to spend the night at the hospital. Whenever this used to happen, she would wait while the Detective was in surgery, and she would spend the night at the hospital, but this time, she had no choice. The ME received the news on the Detective, and waited, thinking about what happened. Just then, Sierra came bursting through the door, crying.

"Maura, Maura, are you okay? I though you were going to die. I thought you were gone." Sierra threw herself on the ME, kissing her then pulling her in for a hug. _Jane... why am I thinking about Jane right now. Sierra is your wife, Maura. But Jane was. I am her wife, in her eyes. I don't think I can do this without her. Sierra. I love her, she is a great friend, and deserves the best, and someones full attention. _

The two sat there, with Sierra at the foot of the bed, and the ME laying down. For about an hour they talked, mainly about what the ME could remember, which was only up to the plan, which she concluded did not go as planned. Sierra, forgetting about the concussion, waited a while but she still asked, "What happened? And Is Jane your ex? Does she still care for you after so long?" The ME opened her mouth to respond, but all she could say was, "I don't remember a while lot, Sierra, you are going to have to ask Jane. I am sorry" Sierra looked somewhat angry, but it was her way of covering up jealousy.

"Okay, she should be out of surgery. I'll go ask her." Sierra was eager to know, and she wanted to meet the "great" Jane Rizzoli. Knowing the Detective, the ME smiled and said, "She will be here, don't worry. Just sit in the chair and wait." Sierra was confused, but went with it, as she learned to do with the ME. She was staring at the door when someone looked in, then opened the door.

She had big sling on her shoulder and a dressing on her bullet wound. She was limping, but she still couldn't feel her shoulder. Paying no regard to Sierra, the Detective leaned in and kissed the ME on the forehead. She pulled away and looked at the ME saying, "Maur, and you okay?" This made the ME laugh, seeing that the Detective was in much worse shape. "Yes, Jane, I am good. Looks like no sports, or anything too straining for a few weeks. Nor should I sleep tonight. How are you?"

"I'm good. I have a bit of a set-back, but I am good. I am a level three detective now. And I have.. another scar. I'm good Maur, real good." Now paying attention the the other woman in the room, he flashed the Rizzoli smile and said to her, "You must be Sierra Clark. I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli Isles." She said as she held out her left hand.

_She gets to call her Maur, and I don't. I guess that explains that. Wait.. Rizzoli Isles? She still considers Maura her wife? _Sierra was angry, but didn't want to show the wife. This Jane seemed to mean a lot to her so she went along with it, even though she was being skeptical. "Hey, Jane. Nice to meet you, I hope you feel better. Maura said that you could tell me what happened?"

"Yeah, sure." The Detective looked at the ME, and with a nod she began:

"We were planning an escape from these killer/rapists/kidnappers. I had earned authority there because they had me for about five years. I set aside the physical and remembered that Maur was safe, and it was okay. Anyway so Maur was going to pretend to be dead, and I was going to drive her body to dispose of it, because the men finally let me leave, because they trusted me. From there I would drove to the BPD and make the arrest. However, one man decided he wanted to go with us. I didn't refuse, because that would cause suspicion so I went with it, but when It got to trowing Maur down a hole I couldn't get out of it. I had to get her safe, then take on the man myself. I had before, and lost, but I needed to keep Maur safe, and that is what I did. I grabbed her, and threw her behind me. The man soon found out that Maur was not dead, and hit her in the head with a rock. She went unconscious and I got mad. So I tackled him. He ended up throwing me down a five foot drop, onto my shoulder, which apparently broke my collar bone badly. I then got up, forgot about the pain, punched the man until I could reach Maur, threw her in the car and drove away."

The story stunned Sierra, because she actually felt the love and compassion that was embedded in the Detectives words. "Oh... wow.. uh... outs me to shame...Jane... uh Detective..." Sierra knew she couldn't compete with that woman. She knew no one could. Maybe she had never been around enough people, or maybe The Detective and the ME were soul mates, what ever the reason, Sierra understood how dedicated they were to each other. She didn't need to understand why, of how, right now. All she needed to know was that the ME would be happy.

That night, the ME and Detective slept in the same room, on separate beds that were really close together while Sierra slept on the chair. The ME was not supposed to sleep, with the concussion, so she spent the night massaging the hands of the Detective, being one of the few people allowed to touch her hands.

Even Sierra knew it. She was upset about it, and even though deeply she knew she could not win, she would put up a fight. _There is no doubt that they are meant for each other. Even I can see it, but Jane needs to pay. I will have to test just how tough she really is . I can't back down without knowing if Jane Rizzoli is tough as she says. _

T

he room was quiet, with all the women tired, but with the ME not sleeping the silence was broken with and "Love you, Jane" followed by a muffled "Lodf juuu Maur" made by the sleepy detective.

That night, the room was overflowing with tension as the ME and Detective were re-connecting while Sierra tried her best to keep up with what was happening, and how she felt. They all fell asleep not sure about a lot, anything really, but hand in hand, even in separate beds, the ME and Detective would be together for the rest of their lives.

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**1. Did this chapter work yes/no? **

**2. Was it clear? (I am working on that a lot) **

**3. I genuinely tried to correct grammar (about 85%, sorry) **

**4. Thank you for reading, and please review/comment.**


	4. Love that we lost

**1. I accept the fact that I really need grammar help. I am working on it. **

**2. The bold is song lyrics.**

**3. Closer and Closer to Rizzles **

**4. read on...**

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The Detective woke up the next morning to the sound two people talking quietly. She had a dream that night that once the fact that she returned died down, the ME would cut her out and their friendship and relationship would be gone forever. She opened her eyes and looked at the ME. Suddenly, the reality hit her and she closed her eyes again, her thinking speed accelerating faster and faster.

_She... she got re-married. I mean that is what I get, for not being there for her, I am simply too late. No. I love that woman, and everyone knows it. That poor Sierra. I mean I will respect what happened and leave... move on. If she did, I can, right? Ah, fuck it. Who am I kidding. Me and that ME are meant to be together. But I can't get past the fact that she is married. And making out with her wife. In here. With me in the room. GOD. Did I screw up that badly? I tried my best, I really did. I guess that isn't good enough... _

The Detective moved her hands over all of her scars, ending with hands. She stroked and massaged them as she kept thinking, but more slowly. Taking her time she kept going.

_I am a strong woman, I can handle this.. situation. I can do anything, as long as I get to be with Maur. She makes everything possible. HER WIFE! And it is not ME! Rizzoli you will get her the fuck back. She is yours. No. she comes first. Maur comes first. Maur comes first. Maur comes first. _

The detective kept repeating the sentence. She knew that she would give up anything for the ME. She would just make sure that the ME was happy, and nothing else mattered. She opened her eyes and said to the ME, "Good morning, Maur."

The ME was lying in bed, with Sierra laying next to her. Sierra took in upon herself to answer as she said, "She is good. Thank you Jane"

The Detective couldn't mask her anger as she replied, "I did ask Maur, not you. I would appreciate of you would let her speak. You begin to miss someones voice after a few years."

"Well, she looked a bit tired, from the concussion. I am sorry.."

"I accept your apology. Maur, how are you feeling?" The Detective re-asked.

The ME did appear weak, but she spoke anyway, "Janie, I am good. I am. You are back, and that is what matters. I know that there is a lot to talk about. I know that we can't resolve this in one day. I am willing to spend time getting back into how it was."

The Detective could not tell what would happen this time, so she fussed, wincing in pain as she reached for her clothing. She then pulled out her wedding ring, and placed it in the hand of the ME. It took all that she had, but she said, "If/When you are ready, you can give that back. You don't need two, though."

The tension between the two was intense, and Sierra could not help but interrupt by saying, "Wait, Maura you aren't actually thinking about it, are you?"

There was a pause as both Sierra and the Detective waited for the answer. Sierra was certain that the ME would say no, and the Detective the other way around. It was true that only one of them could have her, but they both wanted it the same.

"Yes. I am, Sierra, you are pretty much perfect. You are there for me. You try your best to protect me. You care. I fell in love you."

"Ouch." The Detective used as a joke, trying to conceal her true hurt.

"but, you are not Jane Rizzoli. I fell in love with her, and committed my life to her. 'till death do us part' I considered her dead when we got married, and it turns out that she is, in fact alive." Seeing that the two women in front of her were confused, the ME tried to explain it better.

"Jane, Sierra, the thing is that I love you both. I can't just choose. That is just wrong. Neither of you are to blame." Turning to Sierra, "When I married you, I knew that it was love, but it wasn't what was between Jane and I."

The ME then turned to the Detective and said, "Jane, I can't promise you anything, you know I can't. I can only say that-" The ME was thoroughly struck with mixed emotions, and couldn't finish her thought due to the fact that she was crying.

Sierra then said to the Detective, "She does this sometimes...I assume she always has." The Detective then laughed, and said, "yeah, she has."

The ME gained composure and finished her thought, "I promise that we will remain life long best friends forever. I don't know what that means, but I am in." Looking at Sierra, "Look, I am sorry for what I did, and I know that you have every excuse to be mad, and you look uncomfortable. I know people normally ask, but this time, I wont, Jane will be staying with us, until she recovers. It is, technically her house, so..."

_She never sold the house that we lived in. She didn't let go. Why does she have to be so complicated. She makes me so mad sometimes. Damn, Sierra looks pissed. I guess this will go down badly. At least I get to sleep in my own home. _

Sierra sighed and agreed, and soon the women were discharged, and heading back to the Isles residence.

* * *

**24 Hours Later**

* * *

The Detective walked in the door, thinking, H_ome, I am finally home. Everything is still the same. But all the pictures are different. _The Detective observed, realizing that it was not just her and the ME's house. The memories flooded through her mind as she remembered everything that happened in that house. She began to cry. The ME saw her and hugged her, avoiding the sling on the Detectives shoulder.

Sierra became unsettled, and proceeded to claim the house and the ME as hers. This angered the Detective who left and went to get her job back, which she got. When she got back, the ME and Sierra were in the main bedroom. The Detective noticed their whereabouts and decided to void the bedroom. She placed herself on the couch and laid in silence, trying to block out the sound of the ME kissing Sierra. With rears in her eyes the Detective stood up and began to look throughout the house, trying to find anything to remind her of the past with the ME.

**Going through old dresser drawers  
Fumbling through there closets  
It's got to be here somewhere  
I know it's round here somewhere  
**

_She wont get away. I will find it, anything, Please._**  
**

**Searching from room to room  
We couldn't have just lost it  
I know it's round here somewhere  
It's got to be here somewhere  
**

_She kept something to remember me. She had to. I know her_

**Maybe we packed it up  
With college books and winter clothes  
Things we thought were in the way  
Out of style or just outgrown  
**

_I will keep looking. I will find it. She loves ME._

**We didn't give it away  
We just left it alone  
We tried to find it one day  
That's when we noticed it gone  
I turned the house upside down  
Praying I'd stumble across  
Some sign that it's still around  
Got to find the love that we lost  
**

_What if she doesn't care anymore. No, she has to. _

**Captured in old picture frames  
Shinning in those faces  
It used to be here somewhere  
I know it's still here somewhere  
Reflected in our children's eyes  
How could we misplace it  
I know it was here yesterday  
How could it just slip away  
it was more then just a box of junk  
We stored away to gather dust  
This was a dream we thought  
We always could reach out and touch **

The teary Detective was startled when she was tapped on the shoulder. She turned around and saw the ME. "Jane, I might know what you are looking for. Here."

Not knowing what the ME might think, the Detective looked at the ME who was displaying her necklace. She smiled as she explained, "I have never taken it off since the day you gave it to me. Maybe, maybe it is still here. We can find it. Sierra might be able to help."

The Detective felt bad, because she had been convinced that the Me lost and forgot about it. She opened her mouth to say one thing, but another came out.

"Maur, I don't think that we can be friends. I don't think that I can stand feeling like this in my own house. Me or her. I have a thin, thin strand holding everything together. And it will break any moment. I am here, if you are willing to be too."

The ME thought, and before answering turned and walked away, thinking, _I got to find the love that we lost. _

* * *

**Thank you for reading. **

**Please leave a review.**

** I can be criticism, yes/no, a comment, anything. **

**The song is ****The Love That We Lost by Chely Wright **

******Thanks again!**


	5. Jane Freaking Rizzoli

**Okay, first of all thank you for all of the views and reviews, they mean a lot. Second, I am sorry I have not updated recently, I have been doing.. school. Third, I am still doing grammar stuff, so bear with me. **

**JTam, Tess, and TNT own the characters, except for Sierra. She's mine.**

**Thanks for your attention, please proceed:**

* * *

The Detective, assuming that she would be sleeping on the couch proceeded to get up and grab a blanket. Once the bed was made and ready she realized she only had the hospital clothes she came in. She walked up to her old room and knocked saying, "Maur, I need clothes, do you have any?"

"Yes, Jane, come in." The ME said while looking at Sierra for consent.

Entering the room to see the ME and Sierra in the bed, the Detective tried her best to ignore it while asking, "Maur, I need clothes to sleep in….."

The ME laughed at the memory of the first time that that had happened, she remembered that familiar tone that the Detective used when tired, and not really wanting to be doing what she is doing. The ME said, "Sure, um I don't have your clothes here though. You can borrow some of mine."

The Detective might have been held captive for the past five years but her Detective skills were finer than ever and when the ME told her that she could borrow some, she saw Sierra tense up, and turn protective and jealous. The Detective then realized that the ME had moved on. It made her sad, but she knew that Sierra had every right to kick her out right then. The Detective said, "Thanks, Maur"

The Detective went into the closet and came out with a BPD shirt and old pajama shorts. Two items that the ME had adopted as hers during the time of their relationship, but she knew she wouldn't say anything. As soon as the Detective was changed she quickly fell asleep on the couch.

Meanwhile, the ME and Sierra were in bed talking about the Detective. "First, why does she get to call you 'Maur' and I cant? Second, why did you let her just go into out closet? Third, why does she stay here? You have her apartment set up. Third, you can't let her just come here and… and…."

Sierra stuttered while contemplating the best words to use. She finally got them as her voice rose, "and act like you love her as much as she loves you!"

Sierra was upset, and the ME noticed, but then answered the questions as literally as possible, but without real thought she said, "She calls me Maur because she has called me that for three years before she was taken. She is here because she lived here before she was taken, and her apartment is set up as my… thinking space. Third, I didn't make her act like she loves me, she does. No acting. It is not my fault that she comes back now."

Sierra got angry over the literalness of the answer and responded, "Great, so you love her too? You are going to just tell me 'oh, my ex is back you have to go now' NO. You can't do that Maura. I married you and said 'I will love you for as long as I live, and live as long as I love you' I love you. We built a relationship together, and got married. You can't walk away now. You just can't, it's not right."

The ME started crying, and responded, "Sierra, I know it is not fair. I love you too. I wish I could say that I gave you my heart, but I gave it to a certain detective years ago. When I thought she died, I tried my hardest to move on. I fell in love with a wonderful woman in the attempt. I really did. I remember every word I said you on our wedding day. I am sorry, but Jane stays. She is my soul mate, and LLBFF. Even if I can't love her anymore, I will do everything I can for her now. She is a strong woman, but five years of captivity is a long time. Especially at the place she was at. I saw it myself, and it was not pretty. Jane would give her life for me, and I would give my life for her, that is just the way it goes."

The ME stopped to breathe, while Sierra continued, "You know how screwed up this sounds, right? It's like… letting you cheat on me. Why do you do this to me? You know that I'll do anything for you and you know that. I don't need this Jane to come into our home and tell me that my wife is really hers. I can't stand her, Maura. I can't, make her see that you are mine, please? I know she'll listen to you"

"Sierra, I understand why you are upset, and you get to be, but I am telling you that Jane stays, and you can choose to walk away, I understand. I would never do anything to hurt you, in any way. I just…. to be honest, I want to finish this conversation later, I am really tired…" The ME yawned, turning into Sierra.

"Goodnight, Maura. Ill see you in the morning." Sierra looked down and kissed the ME on the forehead, settling down and drifting to sleep.

* * *

_I can't do this. Maur needs to be a wife. She got married again and that girl is the luckiest thing in the world. I don't want to impose…. In my own home? I just… miss her and can't let her go, but on the other hand, need her, and she needs me. God I am hungry. Ill get up and make something, No, I wont. Ill wait for one of then to get up, that way I wont make then too angry… _The Detective lay quietly, thinking to herself right when Sierra came in.

"Jane, you're awake. How did you sleep? That couch is quite comfortable." Sierra said in a tone that asserted confidence.

"I slept great, thanks. It is just as wonderful as when I bought it." The Detective had to ass the last part, just for her own entertainment.

"Wow, Okay Jane. I need to know what is up between you and Maura. I don't want anything to happen without my knowing."

The Detective laughed to herself and said, "Listen Sierra, I get that you and Maur and married, and I won't do anything about it. I really don't care. All I care is that Maur is okay. I am here because this is my home. I left for a while, but I had no choice. I would have been killed otherwise, and I can't keep Maur safe if I am dead. I know you have a problem with me but you don't need to, I like anyone that is awesome enough to deal with her google-talk, and literalness. It's hard to find people that stick around, you know?"

The Detective managed to turn Sierra from upset to laughing, "True, true. I am sorry Jane, I just assumed…"

"It's alright, but you better hurry, you only have seven minutes before Maur wakes up…" the Detective simply stated out of memory.

"Yeah." Sierra said as she hurried off into the kitchen thinking, _I don't think I can compete with this woman; She is gorgeous, smart, and chivalrous. Damn, Maur would have never be able to get a woman like her. Jane Rizzoli, Jane freaking Rizzoli. WHY?_

* * *

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**Please leave comments, criticism, thoughts, or just words...**


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